QUESTIONS

My Journey


June 16, 2010

QUESTIONS

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he can never loose.” – Jim Elliot

“Bakit pa kita nakilala?” Is this a rebellious question or just an outpouring of one’s yearning to be with a beloved who will be distant for an indefinite time? In as much as I want you to be always near me, I know I can’t allow it since the timing is not right. Shall I sit in my room and ponder on our memories which we now call our past or shall I go out and work while my mind wallows on the future of us together, serving the Lord? These should not even be my options. If I consume myself with either the past or future, what about our present being apart from each other?



I thank the Lord for knowing you. I had almost been close to one of the answers to my prayers. But if you were a blessing, why was there sorrow along with the “blessing”? The problem is not in us but around us and our individual status. How I long to have this ‘time to refrain’ be made short. I have no assurance of what will happen in our lives in the future. All I have is faith.



Soon, or maybe months after, the yearning will subside but I will not erase the memory of you in me. I will take care of you in my prayers. What the Lord started, He will finish. If I am God’s gift to you, let Him unwrap me for you in the right time. If it is me, it will be me. If it is you, I will choose you. As for now, our sorrow may last for a night but joy comes in the morning.



As John Piper said, “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.” My freewill has chosen obedience to the One who is sovereign and greater than us. I cannot mold you to be the man that I want you to be.  Rest assured that the Lord knows my in-the-long-run desires – those which lie deep in my heart. I have been praying anonymously for my future beloved. If it is you who has been receiving the answers to my prayers, so be it.



As for now, I may be declaring in a gist that I really miss you so much. This is not farewell but ‘see you soon.’

Soon

"The Lord affirmed our submission to Him in Luke 6:47-48. I will wait. I will wait for you, my love. The next days would be hard because missing you would really make me cry. So long my friend, lover and brother in Christ. Our God is greater. What He did from day one, He is faithful to finish it. I will be faithful to my commitment. Trust in the Lord. My heart will be asleep but it will remain unlocked until you return. When you go to missions, please come back alive. Remember my sacrifice of being away for God's glory."


The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Galatians 2:20 (NLT) "My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."